¡Go to the Shit!

In honor of a Spanish bar near Valencia that's come up with an innovative way to help survive the economic crisis by offering free drinks to people who come up with the best insult, here are my favorite Spanish curses.

Me cago en la leche - I shit in the milk.  You can also shit on your whore of a mother (tu puta madre), the communion wafer (la ostia) or if you're particularly angry god (dios).

Vete a la mierda - Go to the shit.  Vete a tomar por culo - Go and take it by ass.  Que te den por culo - They give it to you by ass.  All great ways to get rid of someone.

Coño/joder - Cunt/fuck.  Used as standard punctuation.

Cojones - Bullshit.

Ostia puta - Communion Wafer Whore.

Por mis santos cajones - for the balls of my saints, which means no matter what.  For example, voy a la playa por mis santos cajones.  I'm going to the each no matter what

The thing is: you can't put your own twist on these expressions like we did back in the day with "mother jokes" and say, for example, me cago en los cereales que comes por la mañana. (I shit in your breakfast cereal) or vete a la mierda y bañarte (go to the shit and swim) because if you do, the Spanish will say: Estas como una cabra (You're like a goat) which means you're crazy.